Rachna & Rushabh's garden wedding party at Fuchsia Gardens, Limuru

With the boat race having just finished (not the sophisticated Oxford/ Cambridge boat race but the more fun team-drinking out of pitchers variant), everyone’s looking and feeling a little giddy. A bloke who is naked from waist up then randomly starts deadlifting one of the female guests. One would think that a heavy meal of delicious food including jiko pizzas (if you know you know) and chips, freshly brewed coffee and some of the finest cheesecakes Nairobi has to offer, coupled with the hot mid-day equatorial sun would have the effect of inducing some mid-day fatigue for the wedding guests. However, the neverending supply of craft beers, cocktails and unlimited shooters had exactly the opposite effect. Fuelled by the liquids on offer, there was very fierce competition on the beer pong table and swingball. Wishes for the couple on the ‘leave a message for us on the jenga set’ are beginning to get funnier.

Customary but heartfelt speech, and cake-cutting now concluded, it feels like a summer festival. A loud cheer diverts our attention to the dancefloor where Rachna and Rushabh are on their friends’ shoulders and having a bit of a dance-off with their guests cheering them on from ‘ground-level’. Almost immediately, we hear another decibel-challenging cheer and we turn round to face the mother of the groom being forced to down a shot. Only this time, the shot is being administered directly from a whisky bottle and the duration is as long as she can hold her breath. 2 of the guests (bridesmaid and groomsman) then decide its an excellent idea to ride these huge white porcelain decorative swans on pedestals. The type you see at posh house in the countryside. Swan falls. Groomsman falls. Swan breaks. Everyone laughs. 10 minutes later, the said groomsman has managed to find himself playfighting (OK, not playfighting but more like WWE wrestling) with another guest and ended up KO’d on the grass blacked out with a concussion. This is nuts. Shit’s going down and it’s only 4pm!

As the golden light from the setting sun made everyone look even more beautiful, the madness increased. Shirts came off. Everywhere. Everywhere we looked, shirts were being ripped off torsos. I narrowly escaped such an attempt on me too. Would have been a tough one to explain at home. As DJ Raahi kept spinning one winning tune after another, it dawned on me this party is not ordinary. No no, this is far from ordinary. If there was a scale from zero to ten on how crazy this party was, this would be a solid twelve.

Hats and shirts off to you guys. You really know how to throw a party. I still remember the first time you talked about this party to me – ‘After the wedding day, we want to have a fun outdoor party’. Understatement. Understatement of the year. We have never written a blog for ‘just’ a party. Thank you for realigning the parameters. One love (bitches) as R&R would say!

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